How long does it take to heal from heartbreak using the water course way?

As long as it takes. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. Grief has its own timeline, and comparing yours to anyone else's is just another form of violence against yourself. What shifts with wu wei isn't the duration ~ it's the suffering about the suffering. You stop adding the second arrow. The pain is there, but the resistance to the pain, which is most of what hurts, begins to dissolve.

What if I can't feel anything? I'm just numb.

Numbness is a sensation too. It's the body's wise way of dosing out what you can handle. Don't force yourself to feel. Start by simply noticing the numbness. Where is it located? What's its texture? Breathe into that without demanding it change. Often, underneath the numbness is a backlog of feeling that's waiting for enough safety to surface. The weighted blanket, the slow walks, the time spent with your hand on your own heart ~ these build safety incrementally.

Is it really possible to heal without "working on it"?

It depends what you mean by working on it. If working on it means analyzing, strategizing, and forcing, then yes, you absolutely heal better without that kind of work. If working on it means showing up daily with presence and willingness ~ what some call the skyscraper model of consciousness ~ then that's exactly what's needed. The water doesn't work at flowing. It simply flows. But it does flow. It doesn't stagnate. There's a difference between efforting and moving with life's current.

How do I know if I'm surrendering or just suppressing?

Suppression tightens. Surrender softens. When you're suppressing, there's a held quality in the body ~ clenched jaw, shallow breath, frozen muscles. When you're truly surrendering into the flow, there's movement. Maybe slow movement. Maybe subtle movement. But movement. Tears come. Shaking happens. Sound emerges. Or simply a deep exhale that feels like something released. Trust the body's signals, not the mind's commentary. The truth beneath all of it is this: you are not broken. You are not behind schedule. You are not failing at grief or love or being human. You are water ~ temporarily meeting rock. And water always, always finds the sea. Not because it's strong. Because it's yielding. Not because it knows the way. Because it trusts the way that knows it. You are the result of infinitely nested miracles, born from divine love that has never once abandoned you. Not in the darkest night. Not in the loneliest hour. Not now. You are loved. Not because you performed well enough. Not because you finally got it right. You are loved because love is what you're made of.

Flow Like Water: The Taoist Art of Healing Heartbreak Without Force