Isn't "doing nothing" just avoidance or denial?

No. Denial is actively pushing something away. Wu wei is the complete opposite ~ it's allowing something to be fully present without interference. When you're in denial, you're expending enormous energy keeping reality at bay. When you practice wu wei, you're conserving energy by meeting reality exactly as it is. The difference is unmistakable once you feel it in your body. Denial feels like tension. Wu wei feels like release.

How long does this kind of healing take?

This question comes from the part of you that still wants to control the process. I understand why you're asking it. But the timeline is not yours to dictate, and that's actually good news. The river flows at its own pace. Some days it rushes. Some days it meanders. Your job is not to measure the distance to the ocean. Your job is to stay in the boat and stop rowing against the current. The healing takes exactly as long as it takes, and every moment of genuine allowing shortens the path.

What if the grief feels too overwhelming to just "allow"?

Then you allow the overwhelm too. You allow the part of you that's terrified of the grief. You allow the resistance to the resistance. There is no layer of experience that is unwelcome in this practice. If you're drowning in the feeling, ask yourself: can I allow this drowning sensation to be here without fighting it? Often, the terror is not about the grief itself but about the belief that you won't survive it. You have survived every single terrible thing that has ever happened to you. You will survive this too. The overwhelm is just a sensation with a scary story attached. Let the sensation be. The story will dissolve on its own.

Do I need to stop all other healing practices to embrace wu wei?

Not at all. Wu wei is not a replacement for other modalities ~ it's the foundation that makes them effective. You can still journal, still see your therapist, still take your walks and drink your water and talk to your friends. The difference is the energy behind those actions. Are you journaling to escape the pain or to meet it? Are you exercising to exhaust yourself into numbness or to feel your body's aliveness? Wu wei infuses every practice with the quality of allowing rather than forcing. The action remains. The struggle dissolves.

How is this different from just being passive and letting life happen to me?

Passivity often comes from hopelessness ~ a belief that nothing you do matters, so why try. Wu wei comes from wisdom ~ an understanding that some things cannot be forced, only received. The passive person has given up. The person practicing wu wei has surrendered. Those are not the same thing. Surrender is active. It's a conscious choice to stop interfering with the natural intelligence of life. Passivity is collapse. Surrender is alignment. You'll know the difference because passivity feels heavy and dead. Surrender feels light and alive, even when it's painful.

The Taoist Paradox: Why Doing Nothing Heals Your Broken Heart